Sox-ually Aroused.

Today is spring cleaning day in my house and as I was sifting through the collossal mess that is our guest room, dividing what stays and what gets tossed, I came across a box filled with board games all dusty and faded as they haven’t been played in years.  No, I will not date myself.

First in the box.  Scrabble.  I’m a bit of an addict.  I had forgotten about my original set once Santa so graciously left this under my tree this past Christmas.  Two of my greatest obsessions coming together in glory; the likes of such a union not seen since the advent of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.  Yet equally as pleasing.

Next in the box.  Guess Who?  No, really.  The game Guess Who.  An old favorite of my siblings and I, we’d play that game for hours learning from a very early age the importance of stereotypes and passing judgement based on hair color and big noses.  Life skills.

And then it hit me.  Like a Chamberlain pitch to the back of the head.  Twice.

Red Sox Guess Who! 

Imagine it!  Y-you can’t?  You can’t picture it?  Oh, that’s alright.  No worries, dear friends.  Allow me to assist you with some visuals and sample questions brought to you by the MLB Mugshot Department, the letter “R”, and Viewers Like You.

Does he look like he could endorse Crest White Strips?

Have you seen him in “The Sandlot”?

Does he have a donkey as a best friend?

Does he look like he’s one furry sidekick away from a Saturday Morning kid’s show host? 

Could his jawbone be used in the old timey hide tanning process?

Could you easily mistake him for the paperboy or the nice young man who mows your lawn for $5?

Does he look like he’d eat his own young?

Is he Christian Slater minus the booger sugar?

See?!  Red Sox Guess Who will be fun for the whole family!  I assume it has to be a game in the works.  Why else would these boys be forced to take this pictures annually?  Oh!  And let’s not let the fun stop there!  Why not branch out to other clubs?

 
Is he most likely wearing lip balm?

Is it painfully obvious that he manscapes?

Do you almost pity him because God so blatantly forgot to give him a neck and instead provided him with hyperactive sweat glands?

MLB Guess Who, coming soon to a toy store near you!